Posts Tagged ‘jesus’

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My UFO is bigger than your bible!

October 31, 2007

The bimbos at The Today Show poked fun (hmmm…they never giggle when a  neocon talks about jeebus) at Dennis Kucinich because of his comment about UFOs.  It’s just like NBC (except for Countdown with Keith Olbermann) to run with fluff, instead of covering the real news.

During last night’s debate, Kucinich implied that chimpy is going crazy, and he called for chimpy’s impeachment.  Hooray!  But the NBC bimbos didn’t even allude to Kucinich’s great statements.  They, along with the rest of the mainstream media, have adopted the mantra of chimpco:  if you don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen, and if you repeat a lie enough, people will believe it did happen.

Chimpy’s last press conference is an example of this neocon chicanery.  Chimpy had the gaul to say that Congress has been wasting time.  Everyone at the black house, except for idiot chimpy, knows that this is the busiest Congress since 1978.  But they want the “amuricun” people to think that Congress is not working.  Talking heads pillbaugh and o’fetish will pick up chimpy’s talking point, and then the 27% will write it in their bibles as another “truth.”

So, Kucinich is portrayed as a fool for his UFO comment, while chimpy “god talks to me” gets another pass.  Oh, I yearn for a government full of politicians who see UFOs rather than those freaks who hide behind their bibles.

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Want some jesus with that?

October 22, 2007

Jeebus and pizza, oh, what a combo!

The Sun-Sentinel printed a short review of Phil’s Calzone Factory.  As a calzone devotee, and tiring of my usual calzone from Vito’s, I decided to give Phil’s a try.  Upon arriving at the shop, a typical strip mall joint, I headed right for the counter, picked up a menu and ordered a calzone.  With my order placed and bill paid, I turned around to find a place to sit.  The first thing I saw was a small table piled with xtian propaganda pamphlets.  Yuck!  I told myself that a prior customer must have dumped the pamphlets there.  After turning back around to the counter, I noticed all kinds of xtian signs, stickers, and crosses.  And then I noticed that the xtian paraphenalia is posted all over the store.  There were so many items extolling the benefits of bowing to jeebus, that I can’t believe that I didn’t notice any of it upon entering the shop.  The more I looked around, the more propaganda I saw.  I was so disgusted.  I wish I would have noticed the jeebus crap before shelling out $25 to the jeebus freaks who must own Phil’s Calzone Factory.

I don’t need to have religion shoved down my throat while patronizing a pizza shop! 

While still reeling from the sight of the xtian decor, I noticed a back room; I thought I could seek refuge there.  Not so!  The back room is even more horrifying.  This room features a long banquet-style table piled end to end with all manner of xtian pamphlets, books, newspapers, and cards.  Above the table is a huge banner printed with “Jesus Is Your Savior” on it (in red, of all colors.)  My feet couldn’t get me out of that room fast enough!

What are these people thinking?  My guess is that they are insecure about their religion.  They posted all of the crap around the store because they need a constant reminder that they’ve chosen not to believe in reality.  This calzone joint should be called Phil’s Xtian Factory, Indoctrination Center, and Propaganda Hut.  Potential patrons need to know what to expect when contemplating doing business with Phil’s.  I wish there had been a huge cross on the door to warn me about what was inside the shop.  Nonetheless, I can’t blame the Phil’s people for my calzone induced tunnel vision.

Despite the owner’s devotion to jeebus, the calzone wasn’t extraordinary.  If the calzone had been incredibly scrumptious, I cannot imagine the dilemma I would have faced.  Would I give more money to jeebus freaks to enjoy something superb?  Since the calzone wasn’t something that I have to have again, I can say that I will never return to Phil’s.

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National Coming Out Day

October 11, 2007

Since I’ve been out for decades now, I’ll devote this post to knocking neocons off their crosses.

Hey, you jeebus twits–if you love me so freaking much, leave me alone!  Do your mumbo jumbo talk amongst yourselves; I don’t want to be bothered by nutsos who think someone up in the sky talks to them.

You people really expect me to take advice from you all?  From people who believe in some collective imaginary friend?  Uh, no can do!

Guess what?  I don’t have a sick need to make myself take stock in a make believe world.  A delusional world where some white man, dressed up like a kid in a Halloween ghost costume, sits on my shoulder whispering into my ear.  That’s some freaky crap.

Ah, that’s better!  Happy Coming Out Day!