The myth of christian charity.

Flamingo Road Church (a South Florida mega-church) recently closed a soup kitchen that they ran in Hallandale Beach.  According to the church’s spokespeople, the church closed the food program because none of the volunteers were church members.   

What?!

Hmmm…despite the need for the food program, the church closed down the operation because no one in their church is xtian enough to volunteer to feed the hungry.  So, the volunteers that did staff the food program aren’t good enough for Flamingo Road Church?  The fact that food was getting to the hungry wasn’t reason enough to keep the place open?  Oh, jeebus would be proud!

The church claims that the food program will reopen at some point in the future.  I guess that’ll be once they can brainwash enough of their flock to do the work.  A Flamingo Road Church apologist says:  ”They are doing this to make it ten times better. It is hard to make it better while the ministry is goingo [sic] on. It is going to take a break to come back better than it ever was before.”

Yeah…while the hungry people are starving to death, they can comfort themselves with the knowledge that the church just needed a little reorganization.  Well, at least this shows that faith based initiatives don’t work.  A non-faith organization would not stop helping the needy due to such a ridiculous notion.  Oh, wait, I get it now…the hungry people aren’t xtian, and Flamingo Road wasn’t successful in shoving jeebus down their throats with the food, so they closed up shop.  Of course, it’s all so clear now.

Those Flamingo Road xtians are clever.  They told a big lie so that the “volunteers” would look bad, not the church.  Well, I’m sure that the people who depended on the food program will understand Flamingo Road’s decision.  I wonder where in the xtian magic book of lies it says, “Ye who do not succumb to jeebus shall not receive food from xtians!”

Those pesky abominations!

Monday’s episode of Jeopardy (which I watched last night; ah, the joy that is TiVo) included a category called “Biblical Abominations.”  Normally, I hate it when a category that’s based on the bible is included in the game.  However, I figured I would enjoy this category as I assumed it would hint at the hypocritical behavior of xtians.

Homosexuality is the ”abomination” xtians repeat the most often.  They love to quote passages from Leviticus that say, supposedly, homosexuality is evil.  I’ve always wondered why xtians are so hellbent against homosexuality when there are plenty of other abominations, i.e. sin, that they freely commit.

To my delight, none of the Jeopardy answers had to do with homosexuality.   Instead, the Jeopardy writers included the abominations of eating shellfish, and the ban on anything to do with bugs, eagles, incense and Egypt.  Wow!  Egypt is an abomination?  Tut would have been so proud.

So, despite the abomination that is shellfish, I’ve never encountered a xtian eschewing a lobster or a clam.  In fact, I’ve even seen ads for church sponsored clambakes.  Likewise, I’ve never heard a xtian parent scold a child for committing a sin by playing with a caterpillar or a ladybug.  Oh, and what about incense?  Don’t the catholics love to swing around their purses full of incense during mass?  They should be going straight to hell for that.

Furthermore, xtians claim that the US is a xtian nation because the “founding fathers” wanted it that way.  (Uh, that’s a big lie.)  Nonetheless, the symbol of this great xtian nation is an eagle.  Ha!  Eagles are an abomination!  Ooh, those xtians who covet eagles are sinners! Since it’s in the bible, it has to be true.  Right?

When did xtians decide which abominations are worse than others?  And how could they do that?  If god said something is an abomination, it can’t be changed just because some xtians choose not to obey the word of god.  It’s not rational that xtians are so against one supposed abomination when they freely engage in other abominable behaviors.  Isn’t an abomination is an abomination?

My UFO is bigger than your bible!

The bimbos at The Today Show poked fun (hmmm…they never giggle when a  neocon talks about jeebus) at Dennis Kucinich because of his comment about UFOs.  It’s just like NBC (except for Countdown with Keith Olbermann) to run with fluff, instead of covering the real news.

During last night’s debate, Kucinich implied that chimpy is going crazy, and he called for chimpy’s impeachment.  Hooray!  But the NBC bimbos didn’t even allude to Kucinich’s great statements.  They, along with the rest of the mainstream media, have adopted the mantra of chimpco:  if you don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen, and if you repeat a lie enough, people will believe it did happen.

Chimpy’s last press conference is an example of this neocon chicanery.  Chimpy had the gaul to say that Congress has been wasting time.  Everyone at the black house, except for idiot chimpy, knows that this is the busiest Congress since 1978.  But they want the ”amuricun” people to think that Congress is not working.  Talking heads pillbaugh and o’fetish will pick up chimpy’s talking point, and then the 27% will write it in their bibles as another “truth.”

So, Kucinich is portrayed as a fool for his UFO comment, while chimpy “god talks to me” gets another pass.  Oh, I yearn for a government full of politicians who see UFOs rather than those freaks who hide behind their bibles.

IKEA Voting

I went to IKEA on October 28th for my first ever visit to the iconic chain store.  IKEA Sunrise (which is not in downtown Miami, as is depicted on the IKEA website) opened on October 17.  As I thought that I had given enough cooling off time for the eager crowds, I was taken aback by the number of people waiting in line to enter the store.  I won’t dare to estimate, but it’s true that I couldn’t see the end of the line.  Once the store opened, the place was so jammed with shoppers, it was nearly impossible to look at any of the merchandise.

While waiting in line, I thought about people waiting in line to vote.  Despite rampant reichwing patriotism, US citizens use so many excuses not to vote.  Furthermore, if any “hurdle” is put into the mix on election day (e.g. a long line, rain, cold, traffic) many US citizens choose not to vote.  But here we waited (for over an hour, standing in the South Florida sun, with no shade) for the store management to open the doors.  One woman said she had driven from Orlando just for the privilege of visiting the store.  She admitted that she had come to the store the previous evening, but gave up her quest to get in after waiting for three hours.

People camp out at stores to wait for the release of new products.  They will sit outside in the rain, snow, and frigid temperatures to watch sporting events.  But the same people will use lack of time and inclement weather as excuses for not voting.  Oh, the irony of it all.

Since people don’t mind waiting in line for something “good,” perhaps we should put polling places at popular stores.  Better yet, let’s tie elections to special events like product releases and sports games.  Would thousands of people still show up to a sporting event if they knew they would have to cast a vote before entering the stadium?

People should be thrilled to wait in line to vote, no matter the weather or time constraints.  If it’s OK to ”suffer” for sports and consumerism, why is the same not true for voting?  Only when it’s too late, will most Americans realize that they were too busy shopping while they should have been exercising their right (and duty) to vote.

The chimp in California

Chimpy went to California to survey the damage from the fires.  Why?  How did the victims of the fires benefit from that buffoon walking around for a photo-op?  He’s despised by the majority of citizens, so the reason can’t be that it was a morale booster.  I presume that the trip was for his own ego boost.  He thinks he’s so important; I have no doubt that he thinks he was helping out the relief effort.

The more I think about it, the more disgusted I get.  The amount of money it cost to fly him, his staffers, and the secret service to California for the photo-op could have gone to rebuilding someone’s home.  Didn’t anyone in the stupid house think of that?  Oh, that would have been wonderful.  What if his talking head had told reporters, ”The president is saddened by the devastation caused by the fires, but instead of flying to California to show his support, the president would like the money that would have gone to the trip donated to the fire victims.”  Wow.  That would have been something.  Isn’t that the kind of action you would expect from a compassionate conservative? 

In addition to not going to California to help out the victims, dimwit could have assigned one of his drunk daughters to help coordinate the rebuilding effort.  That would have been so refreshing.  Sadly, the reichwingers will see chimpy’s publicity stunt as more reason to support the moron-who-was-never-elected-president.  The rest of us will see it as yet another illustration of chimpy’s lack of leadership.

Go Code Pink!

What a thrill it was to see a Code Pink demonstrator get right up to Condisleazy and call her out for her criminal actions!  I nearly squealed with delight.  Given Condisleazy’s record of showing any sign that she’s human, her reaction was predictable.  I know what she was thinking:  “oh, puuleease, really, get this trash away from me.”  Condisleazy’s so stoic; I’m positive it must turn on her girlfriend.  I’ll bet there was some good lovin’ in the House of Sleaze last night!

Of course, the main stream media didn’t cover the story.  Go ahead, do a Google search and see what you find.  I think most people in this country don’t know what happened.  If the media decide to run this story, I have no doubt that they will show just a bit of the footage to make it look like a deranged woman attacked Condisleazy.  They won’t show the other Code Pink members getting forcibly removed from the room, even though they weren’t involved in the bloody hands action.

It’s just disgusting what the media in this country will ignore.  Our country is falling apart, but the media continues to cover celebrity whores over the true state of affairs.  Sad, sad, sad.

Hooray to Code Pink!  I thank the Power of Pink for their efforts in exposing the chimpco lies.

Wacko gems!

There’s so much crazy out there today, I’m feeling a bit woozy…

 Ark Building 101

Baylor University offers a major in Church Recreation.  Huh?  Do xtians find it hard to figure out how to serve punch and cookies?  There has to be more to it than that.  What do Church Recreation majors study?  Book burning?  Ark building?  I wonder if ‘running with the stations of the cross’ is an advanced course.

Baby Desperation

Some wacko couple in Florida was so desperate to have a child that they paid a woman to get pregnant (i.e. with her own egg) with the husband’s sperm.  The couple had a verbal agreement with the woman, but they did not enter into a contract with her.  Once the baby arrived, the surrogate decided to keep the baby.  Ooops.

If the couple was so desperate to have another child (they already have one child, born from a surrogate) why didn’t they adopt?  There are thousands of children waiting for people to take them in and provide them permanent, loving homes.  If someone is really so desperate to become a parent, how can that person neglect the fact that there are so many unwanted kids?  I am so tired of hearing about the self-induced anguish of infertile couples!  They complain about surrogacy, the pain of miscarriages, and the gobs of money spent on infertility treatment.  Who cares?!  Stop being so selfish and adopt!

War Trumps Kids!

Chimpy vetoed (10/03/2007) legislation that would provide $35 billion in healthcare for children.  Nonetheless, that fool has asked (10/22/2007) Congress for another $46 billion to fund his acts of aggression.  By vetoing the SCHIP bill, he let the nation know that he doesn’t care about sick, poor kids.  And now, less than three weeks later, we find out that his so-called war is more important to him than the welfare of children.  Oh, that’s nice.  What a hero.  He’s taken so much money from the treasury for his games (the chimpco idiots don’t even know where it all goes) and kickbacks to his friends, but he doesn’t have the heart to help kids.  Disgusting.

Biblical truth…

So, the wackos at CitizenLink (brought to you by the Focus on the Family nutjobs) are foaming at the mouth over the documentary, For the Bible Tells Me So.  Apparently, they don’t like that the documentary, according to them, denies biblical truth.

Hmmm…there’s truth in the bible?  Isn’t that an oxymoron?

I don’t believe that a book that is composed of fables, which xtians use to deny scientific fact (i.e. truth), is anything more than a work of fiction.  The bible contains no more truth than the Mother Goose rhymes or the Grimm tales.

Want some jesus with that?

Jeebus and pizza, oh, what a combo!

The Sun-Sentinel printed a short review of Phil’s Calzone Factory.  As a calzone devotee, and tiring of my usual calzone from Vito’s, I decided to give Phil’s a try.  Upon arriving at the shop, a typical strip mall joint, I headed right for the counter, picked up a menu and ordered a calzone.  With my order placed and bill paid, I turned around to find a place to sit.  The first thing I saw was a small table piled with xtian propaganda pamphlets.  Yuck!  I told myself that a prior customer must have dumped the pamphlets there.  After turning back around to the counter, I noticed all kinds of xtian signs, stickers, and crosses.  And then I noticed that the xtian paraphenalia is posted all over the store.  There were so many items extolling the benefits of bowing to jeebus, that I can’t believe that I didn’t notice any of it upon entering the shop.  The more I looked around, the more propaganda I saw.  I was so disgusted.  I wish I would have noticed the jeebus crap before shelling out $25 to the jeebus freaks who must own Phil’s Calzone Factory.

I don’t need to have religion shoved down my throat while patronizing a pizza shop! 

While still reeling from the sight of the xtian decor, I noticed a back room; I thought I could seek refuge there.  Not so!  The back room is even more horrifying.  This room features a long banquet-style table piled end to end with all manner of xtian pamphlets, books, newspapers, and cards.  Above the table is a huge banner printed with “Jesus Is Your Savior” on it (in red, of all colors.)  My feet couldn’t get me out of that room fast enough!

What are these people thinking?  My guess is that they are insecure about their religion.  They posted all of the crap around the store because they need a constant reminder that they’ve chosen not to believe in reality.  This calzone joint should be called Phil’s Xtian Factory, Indoctrination Center, and Propaganda Hut.  Potential patrons need to know what to expect when contemplating doing business with Phil’s.  I wish there had been a huge cross on the door to warn me about what was inside the shop.  Nonetheless, I can’t blame the Phil’s people for my calzone induced tunnel vision.

Despite the owner’s devotion to jeebus, the calzone wasn’t extraordinary.  If the calzone had been incredibly scrumptious, I cannot imagine the dilemma I would have faced.  Would I give more money to jeebus freaks to enjoy something superb?  Since the calzone wasn’t something that I have to have again, I can say that I will never return to Phil’s.

Chimpy’s WWIII

Chimpy is blowing his horn over engaging Iran in a war.  Is he for real?  We have no money, our military has suffered too much, and we don’t have any friends.  Perhaps his lowest-ever approval rating has prompted him to act even cockier.

“Hehhehheh, Daddy Dick, they don’t like me anymore.  I’m gonna have to throw one o’ them Texas size nucular things at them a-rabs.  That’ll show those a-murican haters.”

Enough is enough with this idiot.  He’s used fear and loathing to manipulate us throughout his entire presidency.  It has now surfaced that he began his quest for absolute power before 9/11.  Yep, it’s pretty scary.

Congress needs to impeach Chimpy!

He and his cronies are lying, arrogant thieves who will stop at nothing to line their pockets with cash.  Don’t they realize that their money won’t mean crap if they start throwing nuclear bombs?  Fools.  Oh, right, jeebus will make it alright for them.  I always forget about that “clause” that xtians pull out whenever they are threatened.

Impeach!